Gialu: Non-Binary Representation’s Sweetheart

Their videos on social media have turned them into one of the most exciting voices of non-binary people representation these days. With only 25 years, Gialu (they / he) lives unapologetically while inspiring generations with quality educational content that celebrates non-binary and trans lives. By sharing their transition publicly, and raising awareness on several topics about visibility and representation, Gialu sat down with Container Love to share their perspectives about a world that moves forward in queer affairs but still faces several challenges to achieve true inclusion.

How do you think the queer aspect of your identity has evolved with you along the years?

I knew pretty early in my life that I was on the bisexual spectrum, however regarding my trans identity, I pushed that away as hard as I could at the beginning. I had so much internalized trans hostility and even though I was comfortable sharing my bisexuality and claiming that ‘everyone can love whoever they want’, I think, in retrospect, that I really didn’t connect to it due to all the internalized queer and transphobia I had.

It was actually during the Covid lockdown in 2020 that I saw for the first time non-binary people and trans people in social media that were proud of being themselves and talking about their personal stories and feelings. It was then when something clicked. I felt so inspired with all this positive representation I found on the internet. I honestly never thought I was going to be living in the way I live now, and I am very thankful for it.

Did those people inspire you to take your next steps?

In a big part, yes. There were things I always wanted to do, but I pushed them away as I was somehow used to fitting into all the stereotypes expected of me and too afraid of the thought of being trans. However, finding all these people online gave me the courage to move forward, it was definitely life-saving. For example, cutting my hair was something I always wanted, and a very important step for me. I finally did it during that year and that was actually one of my first viral videos. It felt so good that the joy I was feeling encouraged me to go public with it, and then I had hundreds of comments of people opening up and talking about how they were feeling. That was the first time I found a community on social media. It was not only me, we were many.

Looking backwards, why do you think cutting your hair represented a big step in your journey?

Well… I grew up in a small village in Bavaria, in the south of Germany, which is quite conservative. I didn’t really know what was or even if a queer community existed back then, and I was naturally afraid. I was kind of aware of my bisexuality and open about it with my family and friends but I was still ‘fitting in the role of a stereotypical woman’. I had my hyper feminine side, having long hair, wearing makeup, etc, and people would consider me ‘beautiful’, so I thought that by changing, I was going to lose all the approval. While I was growing up it was not something easy to let go because I was afraid of being alone, being bullied and/or to disappoint my family if I came out as trans. 

I always thought as a teenager that I was going to move away one day, cut all contact with everyone I knew, and leave everything behind, to then finally cut my hair and be whoever I wanted to be. Almost a decade later, quite the opposite is happening: I proudly displayed my whole life online and most of the people that were with me back then are still around and interested in learning, supporting, and becoming an ally, not only because of me, but because it is something they didn’t know before.

You are very aware and open about acknowledging your internalized trans hostility, how do you think that had an impact on you?

I think I saw transgender people in a magazine for the first time when I was 12. Obviously they were very  stigmatized. My immediate instinct was to think that ‘I was definitely not one of them’, but I also knew that who I pretended to be, didn’t feel a hundred percent right either. I stuck to what people would approve of, and I wanted to believe that my identity crisis would eventually pass at some point. Because I thought that coming out as a transgender person would force me to be on my own as nobody will validate me as they did before.

Looking back, of course there were signs I could see. Like I always rather wanted to be the big brother or the boyfriend. I never felt comfortable being the sister or the girlfriend. I even remember when I understood what ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ are and I thought ‘oh, I’m fucked. Maybe I was a boy in my previous life or hopefully I will be a boy in the next one’. Things like that, I was super shy so I never thought about speaking those things out loud. There was no positive representation around to look up to, and I think that creates the hostility. Not only in me, but in societies in general. That includes the queer communities, as there is a lot of trans hostility still within us. It takes time to acknowledge that, and to educate ourselves to overcome it.

How do you approach creating content?

I create content and share my personal story, because the representation of other content creators helps me in my own process of finding out that I am trans and accepting it. They show me that I am not alone and I am learning a lot. I want to do the same. We need positive queer representation. There is a lot of hate speech and wrong information about the queer community on social media and spread all over the internet, and that’s why it is important that we also have a lot of videos contrasting the information.

On my transition it was through social media  that I found and saw non-binary people. To me it was really important also to find out the different possibilities of taking this journey, as we are all different. There are people that do top surgery, others take testosterone, some others don’t, and it was so inspiring to see that being trans doesn’t mean exclusively that ‘you must do this, and then this, and that’ in order to validate yourself as a trans person, but there are so many ways and possibilities of being yourself. That helped me the most to see the variety of content creators, especially in English as back then there were almost no German profiles talking about non-binary people.

I imagine that as a content creator and sharing your personal story it might get exhausting at times to deal with ignorant or nasty comments. How do you find the balance between being an inspiring role model with your personal quota of energy?

It can be difficult at times but it gives me so much joy when people tell me that after seeing my content they have taken things differently, or realized aspects they were not aware of before, or thank me for putting that information out there. I experienced my first Pride only three years ago, and now on each edition I get so much love, inspiration, and gratitude from different people that actually approach me because of the content. It is a big injection of energy and encouragement. I know I have the capacity and I enjoy the work of doing this. Of course it gets frustrating at times, especially when receiving a lot of hate because it feels that we are still so far away from eradicating it.

Do you see differences between the development of queer awareness in Germany compared to other places? Or different levels of progress regarding gay versus non-binary or trans people?

I took part in London Pride this year and it was different in a good way. During Pride they had non-binary stages, lesbian stages, so many different people talking and speaking about several topics and connecting them. There were more intersectional perspectives represented, it was more accessible. A lot of the stages provided subtitles and sign language. It seemed more political while remaining as a place to enjoy, dance, and celebrate. I’d love to see more of this for Pride in Germany.

In your own experience, how do you think we can improve LGBTQIA+ rights, opportunities, and freedom in the near future?

On a political level, we need explicit laws that protect queer people. There has to be more awareness on an institutional level, a change in a bigger scale, so voting, for example, for the voices that have genuine interest in queer affairs is a step. Another thing I see really important, and missing, is the connection points. I see so many associations of different sizes working on queer topics, but often the connection between them is lacking. It’s important that we work together as a community. 

Finally, I would highlight the relevance of awareness work. For example, school is so important in terms of education. That includes programs to promote sex education involving the full community, from parents, to teachers, to students. It is a matter of presenting good and accessible information because more education on queer topics can save lives. 

Talent Gialu, Photography Anil Ayhan, Words Javier Zamora-Kalazich